What drives a man’s sexual desire is feeling connected, wanting to be close to his partner – and not just in a physical way. The emotion is: “I want to experience her. I want to be close. I want to feel love.” I’ve heard men say that they’ve felt desire when they sat on the couch and rubbed their partner’s feet, shared a bottle of wine, or went camping. There was a shared experience.

Deep communication came up as well. Men said they felt desire when they felt heard by their partner when they were on the same page. They would say things like: “I really felt that my partner saw me, that she got me at that moment.”